Early Sunsets Over: : Home...?
I'm Not Okay, I'm:: hot
The Music or the Misery:: The Eagles - Desperado
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Warnings: Deathfic, yaoi, psycho!Relena
Pairings: 2x3x2, 1xRx1, eventual 1x4x1
Disclaimer: Don't Own. Don't Sue. Kthx.
Times have changed. Just over a year ago, we were fighting. Contributing to the ever growing destruction and chaos. But we felt what we were doing was right. At times, we may have lost sight of the goal. We just wanted a better future.
The war is now over. We survived. The Earth has healed, but we haven’t. Memories still plague our conscious and unconscious minds. The nightmares and panic attacks still come. But we do what we can to live a ‘normal’ life. We have school and all of it’s problems to keep us occupied some of the time, and we have each other. None of us really tend to venture outside of this circle. We know each other and know how the others think, to a certain extent. We don’t have to explain our behaviour to someone who does not and could not understand us. These people are my best friends and have become my family. We may fight and argue, usually over the silliest or strangest things, but we still have the utmost respect and adoration for each other. We found solace and even sometimes, love. We are safe within each other…
...or so I thought…so we all thought...
This is the story of how I died.
“Maxwell! You have been in the bathroom for an hour and a half! We all have classes this morning!”
A few seconds later, the bathroom door swung open just enough, and out popped the face of the offending bathroom-hogger,
“Awh, but Wuffles, y’know I gotta look my best!”
“Don’t. Call. Me. Wuffles.” An onyx eye twitched,
“Yeah, well, don’t call me Maxwell! I got a first name, y’know! It’s Duo...say it with me...Duo!” Duo stepped fully out of the bathroom to face up against the other teenaged boy outside the door, and they continued to argue. Like every morning. And like every morning, the house’s peacekeeper, also known as Quatre, would have to go and sort it out. He’d give Duo another ten minutes before he’d have to come out and let everyone else have a chance. Quatre would then have to go and wake up Heero, who would be asleep at his desk, his laptop computer still on and usually in yesterday’s clothes. After that, Quatre would quickly get his own stuff together, and then head back down the hall, get Duo out of the bathroom, make sure Wufei didn’t start another argument and then go into the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. The five ex-pilots lived in a rather small apartment just off of campus, despite the fact Quatre had money and a lot of it. But they’d made a decision to blend into student life, instead of riding on his coat tails. So, here they were. Five teenage boys, three bedrooms (two normal sized and one box room), one bathroom, one kitchen (which was not even big enough to fit a table in), and a living room. But they liked their accommodation. It could have been a lot worse, in their eyes.
Quatre was half through making fried eggs and toast when the fifth member of the house appeared in the kitchen doorway with a yawn.
“...morning...” he mumbled, dropping his backpack on the floor, the books inside it making a ‘thud’ on the floor.
“Good morning, Trowa!” Quatre chirped, glancing over his shoulder, “Sleep well?”
“Not really...” Trowa began, a smirk tracing his lips, “Duo kept me awake most of the night...” he added.
“Too much information.” Quatre sighed, his aqua-marine eyes raising to the sky, as if to ask for strength to deal with his friends from a higher being.
“You do know that one of these days you’re going to have to loosen up...” Trowa informed him as Quatre walked over to his friend, placing a tall glass of orange juice in his hand,
“Drink, it’s good for you.” The blonde said simply, “And...I have loosened up.” He paused, “Like...remember...at Relena’s birthday party a couple months ago?”
“You had half a glass of champagne…”
“Yeah, see, loosened...ish...” Quatre continued before heading back to the tan coloured stove to continue cooking breakfast for his friends. Trowa shook his head slightly at his best friend’s antics before heading in the living room to turn on the morning news. But, as usual to every morning, Trowa could not really hear the newscaster on the television. Between Quatre setting the smoke alarm off with burnt toast and some combination of the three down the hall shouting for whatever reason, nothing else could really be heard. Trowa had supreme sympathy for their neighbours. He shook his head before turning up the volume on the TV to drown out the noise.
“I’m so glad you decided to skip the afternoon with me...” Duo began as he took Trowa’s hand, leading him up a hill in a near-by park. They crunched their way through the fallen leaves on the ground as they went to a large tree near the other side of the park. They walked towards the large oak, stopping beneath it’s large branches with red and orange leaves. Trowa leant his back up against the trunk, pulling Duo up against him as he did so. Duo grinned as he felt his lover’s arms snake around his waist. He leant forwards, placing his palms on the tree trunk as he placed his lips against Trowa’s and kissed him deeply. It was moments like these that they cherished above others. When they were alone without the constant threat of interruption. They could just be together. This was still new and exciting to the couple. It had only been four months since Duo and Trowa became an item, and they still had a lot of learning to do, but they were enjoying the process.
Their falling in love hadn't been an explosion or a surprise or an expected thing, it had just kind of clicked into place, like someone turning on a light and illuminating what had always been there, hidden. It wasn't particularly romantic, but it was right, how it happened. Their first kiss had been so terrifying, yet natural. Terrifying, because at first, there was a fear that they’d just ruined their friendship, but natural because it felt like it was exactly what they’d been missing in their lives. A late night together in the living room watching a horror movie marathon with the cheesiest films imaginable. They turned to talk to each other at the exact same time, but words never came. Their eyes locked, and suddenly, all the confusions and questions they’d been asking themselves had an answer. Something had just fallen into place as easily as slipping into an comfortable old sweater. They'd leaned forward in unison, and then they were kissing. It was something so simple and natural that they'd laughed together in bed that night, laying side-by-side roughly four hours after their first kiss, sweaty and sated after the earth-shaking sex they'd just had.
That was the easy part – now it was just getting time to be able to do those little things that only couples can do. At home, it wasn’t easy. Not because the other ex-pilots didn’t know, or that they didn’t accept it. No, it was more that they liked to tease and poke fun. When Duo and Trowa came out, no one looked surprised. Quatre just jumped up and hugged them both, giving them congratulations. Wufei just blinked a couple times and asked if that was the huge announcement and proceeded to walk out of the room, complaining he’d never get the time back he’d waisted listening to something he already figured out. Heero stood shortly after Wufei left, giving them a small nod and a ‘congratulations’. He then proceeded to inform Trowa that he’d kill him if he was to ever hurt Duo, as he is his best friend, even if he has a strange way of showing it. A threat like that from anyone else would be considered idle, but not from Heero Yuy. A death threat from Heero should not be taken lightly. Trowa just shook his head, telling Heero that he’d never have to kill him.
So, for now, they took moments to themselves as precious as diamonds. Rare and beautiful. This moment in the park had been no different, until…
“...?!” Duo turned around to see three boys, one of which had just kicked a football into the back of Duo’s head.
“Hey Mister! Can we have our ball back?!” the tallest of the three asked, stepping forwards. Duo huffed, nudging the ball with his foot towards the kids who took it and ran off laughing. Duo and Trowa rolled their eyes in unison before Trowa slid down the tree and sat on the ground. Duo followed suit and sat in front of him with a smile.
“Hey Duo...” Trowa began, his eyes shifting to the side slightly in thought,
“What do you think is going on with Heero?” he asked, looking at Duo, who flopped backwards on to his back,
“We get an afternoon to ourselves, and you ask about Heero? So uncool!” Duo protested,
“Seriously, Duo...something’s going on…” Trowa continued. Duo shifted so he was laying on his side in the grass and leaves. He propped his head up on his palm and looked at Trowa carefully,
“I…what do you mean?” a look of confusion donned the American’s features, “Hee-chan’s always been a bit...off...”
“It’s not that...” Trowa sighed, “Haven’t you noticed the differences?”
“You’re so oblivious.”
“Yeah…but what’s wrong with Heero then?” Duo huffed, growing bored of this conversation already.
“Haven’t you noticed that since this whole Relena thing, that Heero has been acting more miserable than usual? And he’s at home less and less...”
“That’s just how Heero is…and oh no! He’s spending time with his girlfriend! Shock horror!”
“That’s not what I mean...” Trowa paused, “At first, when they got together, it seemed okay, but I just think Heero’s not very happy.”
“Well sure, I mean, could YOU be happy listening to that thing screeching at you all the time?” Duo asked, arching an eyebrow, “But, Hee-chan’s not going to stay somewhere he’s not happy...is he...?"
“I don’t know...after everything...I wouldn’t be surprised if he just doesn’t want to mess things up. Believe it or not, Heero is human. He once told me that it’s okay to act on your emotions, and maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing. He doesn’t want to lose something he has. We still need allies.”
“You’re very insightful for someone who wears their hair in front of one eye...”
The bell rang to symbolise that the school day had finished and everyone left the building as quick as possible. Heero was just finishing getting changed after his P.E. lesson before walking out of the locker rooms. Standing by the door, the autumn breeze tussling his blonde hair, was Quatre.
“Hey Heero!” Quatre greeted as Heero stepped out into a patch of sunlight,
“Uh...hi...why were you waiting out here?” Heero inqured, standing in front of the much shorter teen,
“Wanna go grab a bite to eat? I’m starving!” Quatre suggested, “C’mon, my treat!”
“I have to go meet Relena.” Heero said simply, his expression unwavering.
“Oh, Heero,she can wait a half an hour, I’m hungry.” Quatre chuckled. Heero seemed to think about this for a few seconds before nodding,
“Alright then...” he finally answered and walked off with Quatre. “Where’re the others?” he asked as they walked out of the front gates.
“I’m not sure.” Quatre answered simply, “Duo wasn’t in fourth lesson, and Trowa wasn’t in fifth. I assume they’ve gone off somewhere.” He paused, “As for Wufei…Allah only knows where he gets off to...”
The pair walked in silence until they reached a café which was about fifteen minutes away from the school. They took a booth near the back of the place and proceeded to scan the menu. A surly waitress dressed in a pink dress and white apron took their order before disapearing off into the kitchen.
“So...” Quatre began, drumming his slender fingers lightly on the tabletop, “School okay?”
“Yeah, it was good, thank you.” Quatre smiled, but inwardly, all he could do was wonder why this was so particularly awkward. The fact was, Quatre always felt awkward whenever he was alone with Heero, but had no idea why. He shrugged it off as just being a strange quirk. The waitress returned to their table where she placed a strawberry milkshake in front of Quatre and a cup of black coffee in front of Heero. Heero brought the mug up to his lips, gingerly taking a sip of the hot beverage, while Quatre just fiddled with the straw in his drink. He watched as Heero pursed his lips, blowing softly on his coffee before taking another drink. Quatre bit his lower lip, just as Heero’s colbalt eyes glanced up to see he was being watched. It hadn’t quite clicked with Quatre that he had been staring until Heero looked up. He blushed and looked away. Heero gave him a confused look and was about to speak when his newly aquired mobile phone rang.
“Hello...oh...yeah, uh...I’m just out...where? I’m out with Qua...yeah...I’ll be there in just a minute...okay...yeah, you too...bye...” Heero looked at his phone as he flipped it closed. Quatre tried to read his friend’s expression, but wasn’t quite able to. “I have to go.” Heero stood up.
“S...sorry...” Heero muttered before quickly leaving the café. Quatre watched as Heero left and a sigh escaped his lips. This was not an unusual occuance, but he just wanted to know why it was bothering him that Heero had left. He shook his head, sighing once more. He just couldn’t figure any of this out. Why he’d lose himself when looking at Heero, or why he’d get so flustered. Why he’d feel awkward and anxious. Or why his stomache would feel like it’d be turned upside down and inside out and his heart skipped beats. And yet, deep down, he knew what was wrong with him in these situations, the much more logicial side of Quatre, pushed everything away and continued to deny the truth to himself every day.
Heero opened the front door to Relena’s mansion,
“HEERO!” screeched the ever familiar voice of his girlfriend as she stormed down the pink carpeted stairs, “Where have you been?!” she demanded to know,
“WHO where you with, more importantly?!” Relena pressed on, placing her hands firmly on her hips and tapping her foot, “Well?!”
“Are you seeing someone else?!”
“No.” Heero finally managed to get an answer out, “No. I was just grabbing something to eat with Quatre.” He got in before Relena continued,
“Hmmm...” Relena seemed to ponder this, “Yes, I suppose that could be true…it’s not like anyone else would have you…not after everything you’ve done...” Relena spat bitterly, “I am the only one who would ever love you, you always remember that.”
“Understood.” Heero mumbled,
“I only tell you these things to keep you. Keep you safe from someone else. Everyone else hurts you, Heero, my love...I never will...I love you.” Relena took a step towards him, placing her fingers gently on the side of his face, “I finally have you, and I won’t ever lose you. You’ll never leave me. You love me.”
“Yes, I do.” Heero answered, looking at Relena directly in the eyes.
“Good...” Relena breathed, “You do worry me sometimes...I don’t like the influence the others have on you...”
“Well, they’re...you know...strange...not like you and me...especially Trowa and Duo...I have my suspicious of Quatre too...” Relena explained carefully, “I just don’t want you to end up that way...”
“...” Heero was speechless.
“Promise me you’ll never stray...that you won’t be like...that...and you’ll be mine forever...”
“Good. That’s all I wanted to hear. Now, come on, let us go into the other room and be comfortable.” Relena smiled and walked off, Heero in toe. He wasn’t quite sure when the dynamic shift was, but now Heero felt like Relena’s puppet. She said jump, he would ask how high. She’s managed to get inside his head somehow and she didn’t plan on leaving. And slowly but surely, Relena managed to break him down. He was beginning to believe everything she would tell him to further break him. Relena had a way to get under people’s skin. Heero sat down beside her on the pink velour sofa as she began to natter on about her day’s events and such. Heero pretty much tuned her out, nodding or ‘mmhmm’ing at pauses, but not taking a single word of hers in. Heero was too busy in his own thoughts to listen. He just kept telling himself the same thing over and over, every day,
“This must be what love really is...” It was what Heero believed. No one else, in his belief, would ever love him or treat him better than Relena. This is where he belonged. And at least, he wouldn’t be alone. Duo and Trowa had each other, Wufei was starting to see a lot of Sally Po...and Quatre...well...that was a different story. Heero could never figure out just what was going on in that blonde’s mind, but Heero found that increadibly charming about Quatre. How he was just so bubbly all the time these days, but there’s underlying things. Heero’s mind continued to wander, thinking about how Quatre was looking at him in the café. What had Quatre been thinking just then...
“Heero!” Relena huffed, “Are you even listening to me?!”
“What did I just say?!”
“You’re thinking about someone else! I knew it!” Relena exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air before standing up and storming off out of the room.
“Ugh...I’m so sick of Relena checking up on Heero!” Quatre exclaimed as he hung his phone up. He’d just returned to the apartment, where Duo, Trowa and Wufei were all sat around the TV watching a gameshow,
“Berlin!” Duo shouted out at the television,
“No...it’s Belgium…” Wufei corrected
“Actually...” Trowa began, “It’s Helenski.” he said simply as the gameshow host gave the same answer as Trowa.
“Oh...” Duo and Wufei mumbled in unision before looking at Quatre,
“What’s the problem, Q-man?” Duo asked,
“Relena just called me to ask if I was with Heero this afternoon because she didn’t believe him…”
“She’s such a fuckin’ psycho!” Duo rolled his eyes, “Why is he with her?! Ugh, Hee-man could do SO much better then that banshee!” Duo paused and grinned, “Like you, Quat’!”
“C’mon Q’, we all know you want to get yourself a slice of Heero-pie!”
“I...do not!” Quatre was blushing madly at this point,
“We all know you do. Stop denying it!” Wufei huffed, glancing up at Quatre, “Winner, as much as this hurts me to say it, Maxwell is right...”
“I do not like Heero in...that...way!” Quatre continued to protest, folding his arms defiently over his chest.
“Then why’re you currently resembeling a tomato-like creature?” Trowa asked,
“This conversation is over now.” Quatre declared, sitting in the chair furthest away from the trio. They were silent for a few minutes before Duo started in again,
“So...what is it that you love about Heero? Is it the eyes? The hair? Or the tight jeans and spandex he wears that promenitly displays his package?”
“...” Quatre blushed harder and Trowa was quite sure that soon blood vessels would start bursting in Quatre’s face. “I’m going to my room.” He announced quietly before zipping off down the hall and to the bedroom at the end of the hall, which he shared with Wufei. He huffed, falling backwards down onto his bed and staring up at the ceiling, trying to convince himself that Duo, Trowa and Wufei were wrong. He had no romantic feelings towards his friend. It was wrong. Heero was in a relationship. Quatre refused to allow himself to feel anything more than friendship for him. It wasn’t right. It would make things even stranger. Quatre continued to convince himself of all of this,
“No...I...no...I don’t...I don’t I don’t I don’t!” Quatre exclaimed outloud before grabbing his pillow from benieth his head and covering his face.
“How long ya think it’ll take?” Duo asked the other two after Quatre had left,
“What?” Trowa asked,
“’Till Q’ just accepts it...”
“I don’t see what the big deal is.” Wufei shrugged, “It’s not like he’s got anything to be ashamed of...”
“I think it’s probably just the fact that Heero’s not avaliable, and he, of course, feels guilty.” Trowa began to explain, “Quatre feels guilty for what he feels, and therefore refuses to accept it.”
“But it’s not like it’s Quatre’s fault...” Duo paused, “Hmmm…”
“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” Trowa inqured, knowing the tone in Duo’s voice,
“I need to investigate...”
“You’re going to meddle in their lives, aren’t you?”
“Would you expect any less of me, Tro’?”
“I suppose not…but what’re you going to do?”
“Well...I need both of you guys help...”
“I suppose I’ll help, if it means Quatre’s happy...” Trowa nodded once,
“Yeah, I’ll fit it around my schedual...” Wufei said.
“Dude, it’s so lame that you go out more than the rest of us...” Duo scoffed,
“Just tell us your plan, Maxwell.”
“Okay…listen up because this is what I’m thinking...”
An hour or so had passed since Quatre had buried himself in his bedroom. He was still in the exact position he’d been since he’d gone in. Afraid to move, the world just might get him. And he had no intentions of moving…until someone had to go and have the audacity to knock on the door.
“Go away!” came his muffled reply, “Far away...”
“Quatre...” Trowa opened the door slightly, regardless of his friend’s disapproval. He poked his head around the door, which earned him a pillow thrown at him. With cat like reflexes, he caught the down pillow and moved the rest of the way into the room. He knocked the bedroom door closed with his left foot before walking forwards, “I think you’re missing this...” he handed Quatre back his pillow,
“Hmm…” Quatre mumbled, sitting up to look at Trowa, “What do you want?”
“Just to talk.” Trowa answered, sitting on the edge of the bed, sinking slightly into Quatre’s soft mattress.
“Quatre...” Trowa began, placing a hand onto Quatre’s, but Quatre snapped his hand back,
“Trowa, don’t even...I know why you’re here...”
“Yes...you want to know what the hell is going on with me, right? Why everything you three said bothered me so much...” Quatre huffed, getting off of his bed and standing up straight in front of Trowa, who looked like he was going to speak. Quatre wouldn’t let him. “Fine, you want to know so bad?! Okay...yes I do. I...I am in love with Heero Yuy! Okay? Happy now!?” he shouted at the top of his lungs. Tears could be seen, stinging the corners of his aqua-marine eyes as the truth was reviled. Quatre still stood there, as if he were waiting for judgement for life or death.
“Exceedingly.” Trowa answered with a nod,
“...” Quatre huffed slightly before he sat beside Trowa,
“How long have you felt like that?”
“Since that night...on the beach...with the dogs...” Quatre mumbled, “I...I felt so much guilt, thinking I had killed you...but there was just something about Heero...and I couldn’t help myself...which, of course, made me feel even more guilty...” he explained as his he dropped his head down into his hands, running his fingers through his own soft hair. “I’ve always known, deep in the corner of my mind...but I just refused to ever admit it to myself or anyone else...until just now...”
“Feel better now that you’ve said it?”
“...strangely, yes.” Quatre smiled, in spite of himself, but quickly dropped it, “But...Trowa...I’ll never do anything about it...I could never live with myself if I got in between him and Relena...” he paused, “He’s always loved her so much…for as long as I’ve known him at least...”
“Hmm...well...we have our doubts...”
“Just...don’t worry about that right now, okay Quatre.”
Meanwhile, the front door of the house swung open with great force.
“Hey Hee-chan!” Duo greeted, looking over the side of the floral patterned sofa. He was sitting there on his own, after Wufei had left a few minutes previous,
“Hmmm...strange...” Heero mumbled as he shut the front door.
“You don’t have a Trowa attached to your hip...have it surgically removed?” Heero asked, moving into the house. He rubbed his eyes sleepily as he flopped backwards onto the cushions.
“He’s...busy.” Duo answered carefully. The pair was silent for long enough to vaguely hear Quatre shouting something in the other room.
“What?!” Heero looked between Duo and the empty hallway, “I’m sure I just heard my name...” he muttered,
“Uh...no you didn’t...you’re hearing things, Hee-man…you should get that checked,
“Always the talkative one, eh Heero?”
“So...tell me...how’s things with Relena?” Duo asked casually, peering over at Heero,
“Why do you want to know?”
“I’m just taking a friendly...interest...”
“Are you meddling? What are you plotting, baka?”
“I’m so insulted you’d insinuate that I’d do such things!” Duo exclaimed, feigning insult and disgust,
“Fine, fine...” Heero rolled his eyes, “Everything’s...” he thought for a second, a million and one words running through his head, but he settled on the one that did not describe it correctly, “...good...”
“Oh really?” Duo continued to press on, “You sure about that?”
“Then why do you keep pausing?”
“I’m just rather confused to why I’m getting twenty questions from you...” Heero huffed, folding his arms over his chest,
“I’m just curious.” He paused, remembering what Trowa had been saying earlier, “We’re...uh...worried...about you...?”
“Me and Trowa...and Wuffles...and...Quatre...?”
“Right...” Heero replied sceptically, “So what is it then?”
“We’re worried about you...” Duo paused, “’Cause you’re Mister Miserablepants! And we just wonder if that nutjob...uh...I mean...well...y’know what, I’ll stay with nutjob...if she’s treatin’ ya right!”
“Define ‘right’.” Heero muttered,
“Well, like, uh...good?”
“Relena...treats me exactly how I deserve.” Heero replied coolly,
“Duo, it’s fine...okay...just, drop it...” Heero stood up and walked out of the room,
“Was it something I said...?” Duo asked himself as he heard Heero’s bedroom door slam shut. “For two people who blatantly need to get it on, they sure are grumpy!” he added, still to himself as he walked over to the kitchen to find a snack for himself.
For the next few days, Quatre did everything in his power to avoid Heero at all costs. After his outburst to Trowa, he just couldn’t manage to actually look at Heero in the eyes. Heero noticed, and just thought that he was annoyed with him some reason and just stayed out of his way.
Eventually the weekend rolled around, which involved step two of Duo’s plan. Relena was throwing a rather large and lavish party at her house to celebrate her and Heero’s one year anniversary. Her house was decorated for the occasion, all in different shades of pink.
“Ever feel like you’ve just stumbled into the real-life Barbie world...?” Duo turned to Trowa as they walked into the house. Trowa nodded and tightened his grip on his lover’s hand,
“Be strong...the pinkness can’t hurt you...”
“It’s gunna sure as hell try…” Duo shuddered,
“Hi guys!” giggled the already tipsy Relena,
“Hey...” Duo mumbled as he looked up at her with a slight sneer, “Uh, don’t take this the wrong way, but aren’t you just a little overdressed?” he asked, looking the former Queen of the World up and down. She was wearing a baby pink strapless silk ball gown with white lace over it, along with a long pink ribbon tied around her waist and trailing down behind her. She had white satin elbow length gloves, with diamond bracelets around her wrists. Around her neck she wore a silver heart-shaped locket and a string of freshwater pearls. And to top everything off, she wore a silver, diamond and pink sapphire tiara atop her head, yet her hair was in it’s normal day-to-day wear.
“Maybe it’s you that’s underdressed! Didja ever think about that?!” Relena exclaimed before walking back into the house.
“Psycho.” Duo and Trowa said in unison before walking off as well in search of where they could find the alcohol.
“Heero!” Relena shouted as she burst into one of the rooms upstairs where she found him. “There you are! What’re you doing in here?! You should be downstairs! Heero! Are you listening to me?!”
“Yes, Relena...I’m listening to you...I’ll be downstairs in just a second, just go on and welcome people!” Heero huffed, not even turning around to acknowledge her. She muttered something under her breath that Heero didn’t quite catch before she left the room, staggering slightly, not quite able to balance in her stilettos. Heero sighed, running a hand through his hair. He examined his reflection once more, knowing if he didn’t get downstairs quickly, she’d be back. And that was definitely not something he wanted. Heero walked out of the room and made it about half way down the stairs when he stopped, “...how horrifying...” he muttered to himself as he saw how Relena had decorated. He hadn’t seen it finished until just now, as he’d kept himself away most of the day. Heero had claimed earlier that he couldn’t help her with the preparations because he had a huge assignment due in the following week. Really, he just didn’t want to listen to her. He shook his head, staring around the room in shock for a few more seconds before heading down the stairs and into the main room where the guests were congregating. He stood at the edge of the room, his eyes scanning the occupants, just to see who was there so far. It was a room entirely full of Relena’s friends, save for Wufei and Sally. Wufei looked very uncomfortable in the room with an entire female population. Heero smiled slightly in spite of himself, but turned and headed towards the other room where a huge buffet table was set up, along with a bar. He walked along the buffet table, cringing at what Relena had chosen for the foods. Things he’d never even consider trying; caviar, escargot, and a strange orange thing Heero couldn’t identify. He shook his head again before going to where she’d set up a bar area, where Duo was already mixing things together. “I think I’m actually pleased to see you...”
“Awh, Hee-chan! I didn’t know you cared!” Duo gushed, pretending to wipe away a tear. “But in all seriousness man…what’s with the way she decorated…I feel like I’m inside of a pink tornado!”
“I had nothing to do with this!” Heero put his hands up in defence, “Besides, it’s not like if I had said anything that it would have mattered.” He rolled his eyes slightly, “So...I’ve seen Wufei...and you two...is Quatre here?”
“Uhm…not sure.” Duo shrugged,
“Always useful, Duo...”
“Well, y’know, that’s just one of my many charms!”
“Quatre was saying earlier he wasn’t feeling that great.” Trowa cut in, “So I’m not sure if he’s coming or not...”
“Oh...” Heero replied in a tone which he believed was casual, but Duo and Trowa could pick up the disappointment,
“Well, hopefully the Q-man will show up...” Duo smiled, “Or I’ll go home and drag his butt here!”
“Don’t do that...if he’s not feeling well...it’s not like he’s missing much here...”
“Quat’d love it...he likes pink!” Duo chuckled, “C’mon Heero, have a drink, that’ll make it seem less terrifying in here...” he handed his friend a drink which Heero happily accepted.
“Can I have your attention?” Relena stood up on a chair in the middle of the room, Heero holding onto her so she wouldn’t fall.
“No...no you can not.” Duo muttered as he crossed his arms angrily. Trowa put his arm around Duo’s shoulders,
“Shhh…let the psycho talk...” Trowa soothed as the room went silent. Relena smiled brightly at everyone,
“Okay, first of all, thank you everyone for coming here tonight. It means a lot to Heero and I.” she giggled, “And secondly, I have an announcement to make...” she paused as whispers filled the room with quick speculation. “I’d just like to make it official...Heero and I are to be married!” she announced. Relena’s friends proceeded to clap for their friend, while the former Gundam pilots stared at Heero in disbelief. Heero stared up at Relena, moving his arms away in shock,
“We are?!” he asked as she not-so-gracefully stepped off of the chair,
“Yes, we are...”
“Just now, silly!” Relena laughed, “Go on, be happy about my decision!”
“It would have been nice to inform me of this...” Heero muttered, looking over to where Trowa and Duo were standing, a mixture of shock and something else Heero couldn’t quite figure out. He watched as Duo, who was staring directly at him, shook his head before walking out of the room in a huff. Trowa was saying something after him as he followed, but Duo didn’t look like he was going to stop anytime soon.
“I’d just like to make it official...Heero and I are to be married!” it was only then, as the words left Relena’s mouth, that Quatre had arrived at the party.
“What...?” Quatre whispered to himself, feeling like he’d just been stabbed in the chest. He turned away quickly, getting out of the room and somewhere else to just take in what he’d just heard. Quatre stood in the hallway between the main room and the kitchen area. He stared down at his feet, not noticing that an angry Duo Maxwell was on his way. And Duo was just storming for the sake of storming, and walked directly into Quatre.
“Ouch!” Duo huffed before realising who it is, “Oh! Quat’...hey...”
“Hello Quatre.” Trowa greeted his friend, but neither Duo or Trowa knew what to say to him.
“Hi!” Quatre answered, looking up at the pair and smiled, hiding everything behind a façade of a cheerful disposition. “Sorry I’m late, guys! I…fell asleep...”
“Oh, right.” Trowa nodded just as Wufei burst into the hallway,
“What does Yuy think he’s playing at?!” he exclaimed to the other teens,
“You’d think he woulda told us somethin’ this big, man!” Duo whined, “We’re his best friends and THIS is how we found out?!”
“I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason for him not saying anything...” Quatre reasoned,
“Like what?! What reason does anyone have to not tell his friends that he’s gettin’ hitched to the Queen bitch?!” Duo continued, “Ugh...I could smack him right now!”
“Duo...calm down...” Trowa soothed, pulling Duo into his arms, “Look, we’re all angry and hurt about this, you especially, but...we need...to be happy for him. If he wants to marry Relena…then we’ll support him...”
“No buts Duo...just...accept it...”
“It’s just ridiculous!” Duo huffed into Trowa’s shoulder. He stood there for a few minutes before stepping away from the taller teenager, “I need a drink!” he announced, “C’mon...we all need a drink...that includes you, Quatre.” Duo told him, pointing at the blonde.
“Yeah...” Quatre agreed, which earned him three shocked expressions, “What?!”
“...nothing.” Duo smiled before the quartet walked over to the bar, where Duo proceeded to pour them shots of vodka. “One...two...thre...drink!” he shouted, but only Quatre did so; Wufei, Trowa and Duo just watched his reaction. Quatre coughed and spluttered as it burned the back of his throat. “Maybe you should stick to mixed drinks...” Duo laughed He knocked back his shot before putting a drink together for Quatre, “Look, I know better and I know this is killin’ ya, Q-man...so, trust me...keep drinking...you’ll feel a lot better!” Quatre gave him a sceptical look before taking a large gulp of what Duo had given him. He cringed and gagged slightly, not being used to the strong alcohol taste. It only took him a few seconds before he was asking Duo to make him the same again. And thus started Quatre drinking for the night.
Somewhere behind the four, Heero was standing. He cleared his throat to gain their attention. The smile Duo had on his face, watching Quatre drink like the preverbal fish, dropped off when he spotted Heero.
“Why didn’t ya tell us man?” Duo asked, hurt evident in his eyes.
“The thing is...wait...is Quatre drinking?!”
“You betcha!” Quatre announced,
“...how fast did that hit him?!” Wufei exclaimed as Quatre polished off another glass of Jack Daniels and coke.
“He’s never drank before...” Trowa explained, watching in shock and horror as his friend, who was already quite tipsy, went after a bottle of red wine.
“Anyways...” Heero began to explain, “The reason I didn’t tell you...it was because I found out the same time as you...”
“...” eight eyes stared at him in disbelief.
“It’s true...Relena just made that decision now...I wasn’t informed...and I’m not happy about this...” Heero huffed,
“Well...that sounds like something she’d do.” Trowa interjected, “I believe you.”
“I believe you too...” Quatre said with a nod
“Yeah, Dorlin...Peacecraft...uh...whatever her name is these days...she’s a freak...wouldn’t shock me for her to come up with this...” Wufei said simply.
“Duo...” Heero breathed, looking at him carefully.
“...” Duo pondered this, “Awh, I could never not believe you, Hee-chan!” Duo smiled, “And now, we drink to celebrate!” Duo laughed before turning to Trowa, “Tro’...come outside with me...I’d like to pin you up against a wall!” he exclaimed, grabbing Trowa’s hand and pulling him off towards the back door. Wufei wandered off as well, looking for Sally amongst the other hordes of girls. Heero turned towards Quatre, about to say something when Relena came charging in,
“Heero!” She shouted, “Come, we’ve put music on and now everyone is going to dance!”
“...I don’t dance...” Heero replied simply.
“Yes you do, silly bear!”
“...” Heero just stared at her, but Relena pulled him into the other room. He turned his head towards Quatre as he was being charged away. Quatre, who was beginning to enjoy this new sensation that these drinks were bringing him, sighed and took a drink of his wine.
An hour or so later, Quatre found himself still on his own. He’d made his way up the stairs and into an empty room. He sat down on the floor, his head in his hands. Quatre was very much intoxicated and didn’t know how to handle it. It hit him hard and it hit him fast. He looked up, the room felt like it was spinning around him.
“Hmm...never let Duo give you anything...” Quatre mumbled to himself, leaning his back up against the wall, “Oh dear...” he whimpered, putting his palms over his eyes and rubbing them, but the room was still spinning when he opened them again.
“Quatre...?” Heero stepped in to the room, “I thought I saw you come up here...are you okay...?”
“No...” he slurred,
“Drink too much?” Heero asked as he sat in front of Quatre who nodded dopily, “Hmmm...I’ll give Duo a smack later...”
“Mmmkay...” Quatre pushed himself off of the wall and scooted closer to Heero, “Heero...”
“C’mere...” Quatre beckoned him with a slender index finger, “I got something to tell you...” Heero lent forward, a chill shooting down his spine when he felt Quatre’s breath on his skin as he moved to whisper in his ear, “Heero...I love you...”
“...?!” Heero moved back, staring at Quatre, “Excuse me?!” he snapped. He didn’t mean to snap at Quatre, but it was the shock. Tears began to well in Quatre’s eyes,
“I’m sorry Heero!” he cried,
“Uh...” Heero didn’t have the slightest clue how to handle this. Sure, he had Relena following him around for ages, but...this was different. “Don’t be sorry...” Heero mumbled, raising his hand to Quatre’s face, wiping at the tears on his pale skin.
“But...I love you...and...I have for so long...please don’t marry Relena...Heero...I would treat you so much better than her!” he sobbed, “She doesn’t deserve you!” Quatre continued. Heero was still in shock,
“Quatre...” Heero breathed, “You’re drunk...you don’t know what you are saying…why don’t you lie down...? I’ll walk you home when you’ve sobered up a bit...” Heero manoeuvred so he was sitting on his knees, trying to help Quatre up off of the floor. He pulled the smaller blonde towards him, his hands on Quatre’s sides. Quatre lifted his arms, placing his hands on Heero’s shoulders, looking into his eyes. “...Quatre...” he whispered, moving forwards,
“Heero...” Quatre breathed. His face was only an inch or so away from Heero’s. They remained there for a few seconds before Heero bridged the gap, his lips brushing against Quatre’s, just as the door swung open,
“Heero, they want to make a toast to us…down…stairs…” Relena trailed off, trying to take in what she’d just walked in on,
“...Relena...” Heero looked over at her, his hands still firmly placed on Quatre’s sides. She stormed into the room,
“What is going on here?!” she demanded. Heero looked back to Quatre, making sure he was in a position where he wouldn’t topple over before standing up and facing Relena. He was about to speak when Relena decided she wasn’t hearing any of it. She raised her hand up, smacking the love of her life hard across the face, before turning around and storming out. Heero stood there, stunned. Although a bit wobbly, Quatre got to his feet and walked over to Heero,
“I’m so sorry...” he mumbled, “I truly am...” he added before staggering out of the room, supporting himself on the wall. Heero stood there for a good five minutes, trying to just take in everything that happened.
“I haven’t seen Quatre in a long time...” Trowa mumbled, “I hope he’s okay...”
“Trowa...Quat’s not going to go get himself in any trouble...it’s a party with people we know and vaguely tolerate...” Duo sighed, wrapping his arms around Trowa’s waist, “I love you, you know that, right?”
“Yes...” Trowa’s lips moved into a smile,
“Good good.” Duo grinned, leaning up and stealing a quick kiss, “Wanna get outta here?” he whispered. Trowa simply nodded before wrapping an arm around Duo’s shoulders and beginning to lead him off towards the door. They walked off together through the house when they spotted Quatre. He was sitting at Relena’s ivory grand piano. Although Relena could not play a note, she had it there because it looked good. She had complained one day that all of her friends had pianos and it was obviously a huge social status symbol. She kept saying she was the outcast of her friends and she was to buy a piano. Heero protested at the time, saying it was a pointless purchase, but Relena just brushed his comments off as nothing and went out to buy her instrument.
So there Quatre sat, his fingers pressing the keys in a specific pattern. Even when inebriated, he still had musical instinct. A solemn tune couldn’t be heard over the music playing from the stereo across the room. But still Quatre played, emptying his soul into the notes like it was the last thing he’d ever play. Everyone had a coping method. Some never showed anything, some crawled into the neck of a bottle, while some would resort to hurting others or themselves. Quatre had music. Every note was thick with regret and pain and the hope of something that could never be. Like a Shakespearean tragedy from years ago, heartbreaking and beautiful, his sorrowful song could shake a person to their very core.
Trowa and Duo moved slowly towards the piano. They didn’t have to be able to hear Quatre’s music to know that something was terribly wrong. The pair didn’t have to say a word, and Quatre never looked away from the keys, yet there seemed to be a mutual understanding within the trio.
“I’m so sorry, Quat’...” Duo managed to whisper as Quatre’s long, musician’s fingers continued to move. The couple stood there for a few moments, straining to hear what Quatre had to say through the notes before walking away and back outside.
“Relena!” Heero huffed as he followed her, past Duo and Trowa, out into the back of her house. “Where are you going? You can’t run forever, Relena…you live here!” he continued. She finally stopped near her swimming pool, her reflection in the calm water crystal clear.
“What?! What do you have to say Heero?!” she screamed as he stood in front of her,
“Look, would you just listen to me?”
“NO! I won’t! Because I don’t want to hear you say it! I don’t want you to leave me, Heero!” she continued frantically, “You won’t go!”
“You’re so pathetic, Heero!” Relena shouted, “Pathetic! You’re meant to love me!” she began to cry as she raised a shaking hand up to him, “How could you?! You were trying to kiss him!”
“Relena...” Heero continued to try to talk, but she just wouldn’t let him,
“You promised, Heero! You promised you wouldn’t be like that! That you wouldn’t turn out like some weird gay! Like your little friends! I knew that they were a bad influence! You’re not to see them anymore! Stay here! Be normal, Heero! He’ll never love you! Not like I do! It will never be the same! He can’t love you as much as I can, Heero!” She was hysterical at this point, everyone outside staring at the couple.
Duo had just about enough of this, how she was just screaming at Heero. He narrowed his eyes, and Trowa knew to not interfere. Like a black panther, stealthily and silent, he began to move forward as Relena shouted more and more.
“Heero, you’ll never, ever find love again if you leave me now! I will make sure of it!” she growled. It was at this point where Duo decided to make his move, and he pounced, unnoticed until the very last second, when he came over to the side of Relena and pushed her forcefully into the pool.
“Duo...?” Heero mumbled in confusion.
“Go...I’ve got it sorted here.” Duo motioned towards the door. Heero glanced over between the door and his friend,
“I suppose I owe you now?”
“Oh yeah, you’re so my bitch...but for now...get...go...I know of a blonde that’s waiting for you...” Duo grinned before watching Heero walk off. He then turned his attentions to Relena, who was struggling madly in the water.
“Someone get me out of here!!” She screamed, her arms flailing in the air. Duo crouched down by the side of the swimming pool,
“Don’t fuck with my friends...and if you go near Heero ever again...you’ll get worse then pushed into a swimming pool...I’m the God of Death...and I don’t look too kindly on people like you...” Duo told her with a terrifying calm. “Have a nice swim.” He added before standing up and walking off with his hands in his pockets, Trowa quickly following.
Wars, battles, and deaths can teach someone a lot about life. But not about this. There’s nothing that can teach you how to handle this situation that Heero had now found himself in. No manual to give you step-by-step instructions on how to tell the boy who just told you he loves you that he woke you up, made you realise just how bad things were and that you feel the same. So Heero decided to improvise and see how it went. Taking a deep breath, he walked forward until he was standing behind Quatre. He said nothing, just tapped the blonde on the shoulder. Quatre turned around, his heart suddenly in his throat. He stood quickly, or, rather, as quickly as he could without the room starting to spin again.
“Heero...I-” he began, but was cut off,
“Shut up, Quatre.” Heero interrupted before pulling Quatre close to him. Leaning down with uncertainty, he placed his lips against Quatre’s, kissing him like an over dramatic actor, starving for work. It felt as if a million lightening bolts were shooting through their veins as each second passed. It was something that just felt so right to both of them, like flood gates opening, allowing everything that had been pent up for so long to be free. Neither one were sure how long it had been – a few minutes, an hour, or it could have possibly been several sunlit days, but finally, they broke apart. Everyone in the room was staring at them, most with horror as they watched their friend’s ‘fiancé’ kiss another a person. And another guy, for that matter.
“We need to talk...” Heero mumbled, looking at Quatre with an uncharacteristic smile. Quatre nodded, which was Heero’s queue to exit the party. He took Quatre’s hand and led him outside the front door and away from Relena’s house.
The hours that followed seemed to pass like milliseconds. They sat in Heero’s room, as he was the only one with his own bedroom. They talked all night about anything and everything. Quatre was stunned that Heero was actually being quite talkative, and very honest. In that one night, they told each other nearly everything that could be known about them, but left enough to learn over time. They also discussed the future. Their future. How Heero wanted to end everything with Relena and start his life over again with Quatre. Nothing had ever seemed so natural and right then when they kissed. It was as if they’d done it a million times before, but it still had that same spark that set fire to their souls. Their being together felt like nothing before. Like a firework display on the Fourth of July, their new found love was exhilarating and beautiful and almost magical. Nothing could ever get them apart, not now that they finally realised all of these hidden and pushed away feelings they had for each other. Heero only realised that night that everything he thought was love was a lie. That it was quite possible that he might be able to be happy. For the first time that he could remember, he actually felt alive. He suddenly understood the silly, embarrassed, tongue-tied ways of being a teenage boy in front of someone you want to be with. But Heero was enjoying this new feeling, while Quatre was only just discovering everything about love and commitment. This was his first time experiencing it all – from sex and to even something as simple as having his hand held. Before this particular night, he’d never had any of it. He was happy that all of his firsts were with Heero.
“Relena...we need to talk...” It was evening of the next day before Heero ventured back to Relena’s house. He sat, somewhat awkwardly, next to his soon to be ex-girlfriend.
“Yes, Heero, we do need to talk.” Relena nodded, “I think we should just forget about last night and continue on like nothing ever happened. I still love you, and you very obviously still love me, hence why you came crawling back. Yes, I’ll take you back, but don’t go straying off like that again!” She said simply, “Everyone makes mistakes…but I’m so glad you came to your senses, Heero my love, I’m the only one for you!” she continued. Heero huffed,
“Relena...listen to me, and listen to me very carefully...” Heero began, “Don’t interrupt me, don’t talk at all, just listen, okay...?” he sighed. It was hard to believe that he was speaking to a former Queen like she was a two year old, but sometimes he just had to spell things out to her for her to get it. Relena nodded, but kept quiet. Heero took a deep breath before beginning to speak again, “Relena...while I do care about you, it’s only as a friend. I’m not in love with you. I don’t think I ever was. And it’s not fair to you to keep making you believe that we could be together forever, or whatever notion you believe.” He paused, watching her face carefully, but her expression was blank and unreadable, “I just hope you understand...”
“It’s Quatre...isn’t it...?!” she shot a look of daggers at Heero, who nodded,
“Yes Relena, and I am sorry...I love him...”
“You whore.” Relena spat, “You queer whore...get out of my house!”
“Relena...” Heero began to protest as she stood up,
“Just get out!” she screamed, pointing towards the front door. Heero huffed, standing and heading out of the room. All he could do now was hope she’d cool down eventually and they could talk properly.
“How’d it go?” Quatre asked from where he stood waiting outside,
“Not well...” Heero sighed, taking Quatre’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers.
“Oh...” Quatre pouted slightly, “Well, she’ll come around.” he added,
“Yeah.” He looked down at Quatre, “Want to grab some dinner and go to a movie or something?”
“Sure!” he answered, smiling brightly at Heero as they walked off down the street, the sun setting behind them through the grey clouds.
After a long and leisurely dinner, followed by a film they only saw a few minutes of, the new couple began their trek home. It was quite late by the time they left the cinema, but it mattered not. They’d already decided to take tomorrow off from school and just spend the day together. A day to just lay in each other’s arms, to talk and kiss, and anything else, wherever the day would take them. It would be a good day, or so they hoped at least.
But for now, they were just walking home. It had been raining the whole way home, but they were nearly there. From here, they could see the back windows of the apartment building. Their hair was plastered to their faces, and their clothes were clinging to their bodies like a second skin, yet nothing could dampen the mood. Heero suddenly stopped, looking down at Quatre,
“What?” Quatre asked, facing Heero and looking at him carefully.
“I love you.” Heero said simply. It rolled off of his tongue so easily, so natural, yet it ended up being unheard by Quatre, as he sneezed just as Heero has spoke.
“Sorry...” Quatre smiled sheepishly,
“I said, I love you.” Heero repeated, smiling at Quatre's adorible antics. Quatre smiled, but said nothing. He placed his hand on the side of Heero’s face, which he instinctively moved towards, just slightly. The rain slipped off of Heero’s hair and through Quatre’s fingers as he moved closer, kissing Heero softly. His guard was down and he, for that moment, believed that everything was alright in the world. No one could hurt them.
“Heero...” a voice from behind him called out. He pulled back from the angel in his arms to look at the source of the voice.
“...Relena?” he mumbled, “What are you doing here?” he asked. Relena said nothing, just stepped forwards, towards the two. She was also soaking wet, caught in the heavy rainstorm also. She walked to where Quatre was standing,
“I don’t see what’s so special about you.” She said quietly, “Really...you’re nothing...”
“Relena! Now that’s enough!” Heero huffed, “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, Heero...” Relena spun around on her heels and turned to look at her ex. He could see she was crying, “It doesn’t make sense...”
“Relena, you shouldn’t be here. Go home.” Heero said simply, placing a hand on her shoulder, “You need to go home.” He reiterated,
“No.” She replied, “Not until I get an answer.” She looked back to Quatre, “Hmm...you stole him from me...”
“I didn’t, Relena, you pushed him away. You never treated him right.” Quatre replied, “He’ll never be miserable again. You hurt him too many times.”
“Hmm…” Relena turned back to Heero, “I love you, Heero.” She cooed, but her expression turned sour again as she moved up right against him, “...But if I can’t have you...” she paused again, quickly reaching to where she knew Heero still carried his gun, “...no one can. I’m Queen of the World...I get whatever I want!” She turned, before Heero could even take in what was going on, she’d pulled the trigger twice. The sound of the bullets leaving the gun broke the silence of night and Heero could only watch as Quatre fall backwards. He’d seen many shootings in his time, but nothing was like this. Nothing. It took a few seconds to take in, before Heero bolted forwards,
“Qua...Quatre?!” Heero cried, sitting beside Quatre and holding onto him, “Stay with me, Quatre...stay with me...” he pleaded, taking his hand and holding onto it as if his own life depended on that. Quatre couldn’t speak. His eyes were open and he was desperately trying to breathe. “Please Quatre...just hold on...I love you...don’t leave me like this...” he whispered. He tried to speak, but no words would come, just a choking, gasping sound. Quatre gave Heero’s hand a squeeze, as tight as he could manage, before his entire body went limp. “...Quatre...?” Heero whimpered, but got no response. Heero looked up, but Relena was gone. He debated whether he would go and run after her to avenge Quatre, but he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving. He felt as if he’d died as well that night. The rain continued to fall around them as Heero just sat there, holding on to his lover’s lifeless body. The sound of the gunshot a few seconds previous had caused people to come outside, see what was going on. Heero didn’t notice this, or the ambulance pulling up. He only noticed when they went to take Quatre away from him. He protested, but by this time, Duo, Trowa and Wufei had immerged outside, curious to what was going on. Duo pulled Heero off of the ground and just wrapped his arms around his friend in a protective manor. Trowa was standing there, in complete shock, numb to his surroundings. Wufei put an arm around Trowa, not quite knowing what to do. Eventually, the four went back into their apartment. It was cold. Empty. Like each and every one of them.
I received a letter from Relena two weeks after he died. She apologised. That won’t bring him back. I have vowed to find her someday. I will avenge Quatre’s death. I will. She will pay for what she has done to me. What she has done to all of us. I know that will also not bring Quatre back. But it makes things even.
I feel as if I too died that night. With his last breath, so was mine. I haven’t felt anything since that night in the rain.
I will never forget him. I will never stop loving him. And I will never forgive her. And things will never be the same again...
Ugh. Damn LJ...makes me fix all the elpsies...why did I use so many?! That took over a half an hour to edit for LJ. :(